Thursday, January 22, 2009

running out of space to express

i have issues, i know. somehow i can't express myself openly to some people. mostly my family. i don't know if it's a trust issue. i was never repressed to talk. but i just didn't like expressing myself to them.

i found comfort in expressing my feelings to friends, or even strangers. that's why i loved blogging. be it conventional or micro. i know it's weird, but i can't help it. i'd rather confide my feelings to strangers than to my own family.

but now it's different.

i put a weird status on Ym and then suddenly my uncle discusses it with me

i posted an embarassing video and then i got comments from my mom's friend. (not family, but i really don't feel comfortable exposing myself to friends of my parents)

my mom is suddenly on plurk, so i need to be careful about what i say. cause i don't want her to over react like she always does.

this entry could probably be read by any member of my family. but if i made it private then i can't confide to anyone.

if only i could say these words "please leave me alone in the internet. i need this space to cry out" but i can't. cause i just can't be open to my family.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Oki Keren said...

on ym, create new group, set stealth settings to always offline. XDDDD

5:42 PM  
Anonymous indira gajah said...

i can't do that either, their still family. i just don't want them to see my expressions

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Puti Maharani said...

Hmmmm..... Kinda hard... Speechless.... I would want to say it's none of their business whatever you do, but then it's your fam or their acquaitance. But you know what, let them say what they wanna say or let them think. You have your own freedom, don't feel bugged... You will always find a way, you always do.. Let them read this entry (I'm hoping that) Hehehehe.... Peace

6:13 PM  
Anonymous foolishly sentimental said...

ceile nyokapnya maen plurk

12:50 PM  
Anonymous indira gajah said...

it's actually harder to cope than you think...

2:52 PM  

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