Friday, March 19, 2010

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Hari ini panas Jakarta terasa menyengat
Bahkan untuk pecinta kehangatan seperti saya
Akumulasi kelelahan sudah mulai menunjukkan keberadaannya
Dan sungguh jiwa ini tergoda untuk menyerah kalah

Saya tidak pernah merasa enggan berjalan jauh
Namun sepertinya tumpukan kegagalan dan penolakan menjadikan perjalanan kali ini lebih berat dari biasanya
Dan di tepi-tepi asa saya hanya bisa memaksa kaki untuk melangkah
Dengan benak berkabut saya bertanya penuh harap kesana-sini

Dan saya pun berusaha mencoba untuk terus mencari perpanjangan tenaga
pada setiap hembusan kesejukan yg membelai
Pada setiap keindahan alam yang tertangkap

Entah bagaimana saya harus terus melangkah.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I just realized that I'm a manipulator

I woke up, saw a conversation that has nothing to do with me and realized that I'm a manipulator

I look back at my past actions, my moves, my methods, and realized that I've been a manipulator

My little brother once said that I'm cunning. I thought he was exaggerating. But know I realize that he might be right.

Ironically, I've always hated manipulators since I could always spot their tricks. Now I understand why I could spot them, it takes one to know one.

And sadly, I'm as sleazy as those manipulators I hate, but I personally seldom benefit from my manipulative acts.

Imagine that, becoming something I hate, and yet failing to profit from it.
Maybe I'm both too smart and too dumb for my own good

PS: I feel like a normal person all along, so maybe we are all manipulators, Or maybe I'm just delusional.