In my struggles to face mortality, the fear of losing loved ones, external and internal pressures from my employment status, not to mention other facts of live that continue to haunt me each time i wake from my dreams, it's not odd that i found myself in a very gloomy state these past couple of days. With the unavailability of certain people whom i feel comfortable enough to reveal my true fragile self, i no longer have any outlets of emotional outbursts.
all these things have prompt me to begin a search. a search for happiness. happiness itself is an abstract concept, you can't really describe how it looks like, and i might have to broaden and prolong the search for an indefinite period, till i die maybe?, but at least recently i have found a somewhat visible result for that search for happiness.
"what did she find?" or "where did she find this so-called visible result for the search for happiness?" you might ask? well none other than on this abstract addiction of mine, the internet.
the visible results looks like this:
if the image is to small for you, you can always visit http://www.google.co.id/search?q=happiness&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-aor better yet, why don't you just search it your self. just search happiness on any of your favorite search engine.
hahaha! sorry for the bad joke. it's just a manifestation of this mixture of gloom, despair, and utter loneliness that I'm going through right now. I am extremely grateful for my friends and family for their support, but i just don't have the person/thing i need right now to overturn my condition. oops, stolen outcry.
Labels: righthererightnow, unnecessaryinput
