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26.06.2008

ini lagu yang membuat saya termenung tadi malam....

-Stop this train-

by John Mayer

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know i'm good at being young..

but i just can't stop this train.

i can't help growing but i refuse to let the kid inside of me go. No matter what!

the pre birthday report

well, it's pretty much a regular day..

had some highlights like (1) a pretty productive meeting, (2) kesempatan ngerjain intern dari bangkok "sensasi" naik kopaja

but there were some low points like (1) my shoe losing grip of its sole, forcing me to walk like a duck/penguin. (2) the 15 page translation i had to do.

so all in all, it's just like any other day.

26.06.2008

ini lagu yang membuat saya termenung tadi malam....

-Stop this train-

by John Mayer

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know i'm good at being young..

but i just can't stop this train.

i can't help growing but i refuse to let the kid inside of me go. No matter what!

the pre birthday report

well, it's pretty much a regular day..

had some highlights like (1) a pretty productive meeting, (2) kesempatan ngerjain intern dari bangkok "sensasi" naik kopaja

but there were some low points like (1) my shoe losing grip of its sole, forcing me to walk like a duck/penguin. (2) the 15 page translation i had to do.

so all in all, it's just like any other day.

katanya..

kata temen gue, sehari sebelum ulang tahun biasanya ktia bete seharian.

let's see how today goes.

the report will submitted later today.

katanya..

kata temen gue, sehari sebelum ulang tahun biasanya ktia bete seharian.

let's see how today goes.

the report will submitted later today.

hari pertama jadi orang dengan pekerjaan tetap lagi.

this was my first day on the job.

dan katanya kan ya, gue harusnya nyampe kantor jam 7. dan dalam rangka menghindari kemacetan dan teman2, gue bangun jam 5. (terima kasih kepada Audi, Amel, dan Nungky boy yang telah berpartisipasi membangunkan gue)

sesuai anjuran andri jam 5.50 gue uda ngelewati lampu merah swadaya. maka dipaculah mobil MR 90 itu sewajarnya.
 ada sepeda nyebrang yang menyebabkan APV di depan saya berhenti, maka ngerem lah saya. tau2 di spion saya lihat ada motor nabrak bagian belakang mobil saya.

sempet keluar mobil bentar, ngecek orangnya ga papa, bemper ga papa, lanjut lagi...
tau2 ada motor sok solider yang ceritanya marahin saya.
(saya ga salah mas, kan emang depannya berhenti, lampu rem saya nyala kan? maka sesuai peraturan jalan raya bahwa yang belakang wajib jaga jarak maka saya ga salah dong?)

akhrinya nyampe atma jaya jam 6.20 trus jalan kaki ke WTC.

trus nungguin..
masih nungguin..
and still waiting...
tak ada yang kunjung tiba untuk membukakan pintu saya...

akhirnya bisa masuk jam 7.50an.

briefing..

scanning koran..

bikin summary...

lunch... (damn, i just realised how much i missed day light)

balik lagi ke kantor,  sbenernya tugas uda selese. tinggal pulang

atas nama solidaritas tetep disana..


dapet tugas translate..


(damn, i miss being able to stretch my legs)


akhirnya pulang.



oh, semoga saya bisa bertahan 6 bulan kerja kantoran seperti ini...
i would love a field job

hari pertama jadi orang dengan pekerjaan tetap lagi.

this was my first day on the job.

dan katanya kan ya, gue harusnya nyampe kantor jam 7. dan dalam rangka menghindari kemacetan dan teman2, gue bangun jam 5. (terima kasih kepada Audi, Amel, dan Nungky boy yang telah berpartisipasi membangunkan gue)

sesuai anjuran andri jam 5.50 gue uda ngelewati lampu merah swadaya. maka dipaculah mobil MR 90 itu sewajarnya.
ada sepeda nyebrang yang menyebabkan APV di depan saya berhenti, maka ngerem lah saya. tau2 di spion saya lihat ada motor nabrak bagian belakang mobil saya.

sempet keluar mobil bentar, ngecek orangnya ga papa, bemper ga papa, lanjut lagi...
tau2 ada motor sok solider yang ceritanya marahin saya.
(saya ga salah mas, kan emang depannya berhenti, lampu rem saya nyala kan? maka sesuai peraturan jalan raya bahwa yang belakang wajib jaga jarak maka saya ga salah dong?)

akhrinya nyampe atma jaya jam 6.20 trus jalan kaki ke WTC.

trus nungguin..
masih nungguin..
and still waiting...
tak ada yang kunjung tiba untuk membukakan pintu saya...

akhirnya bisa masuk jam 7.50an.

briefing..

scanning koran..

bikin summary...

lunch... (damn, i just realised how much i missed day light)

balik lagi ke kantor, sbenernya tugas uda selese. tinggal pulang

atas nama solidaritas tetep disana..


dapet tugas translate..


(damn, i miss being able to stretch my legs)


akhirnya pulang.



oh, semoga saya bisa bertahan 6 bulan kerja kantoran seperti ini...
i would love a field job

what i'm made of

The skin i've donned since birth has provided me with protection and a base for my identity.
this mouth, this nose
this pair of eyes that hardly close
my fingers and my toes
some becoming crooked by my own actions
the stubborn wavy hair on my head
coffe coloured skin
the eyebrows that i took great pride of for no apparent reason

The dimple in my cheek only appears when i smile but it gets deeper with each smile i cast.
I've learned to smile when i want to,
when i don't want to,
when i had to,
and not to smile when i want to but i'm not supposed to.

The surface is covered with scratches and scars from countless escapades,
from justified and unjustified fights
from sticks and stones that have been hurled towards me,
the balls that richoched from my foot and ending up in my face,
scars that would not have stayed on had it not been for my ignorance

the lines in my face bear markings,
from each time i frown in deep thought,
be it from contemplating the troubles of my own,
the burdens of others which i really want to lift,
methods of setting the worlds to right,
or maybe i was just making up my mind about what to have for lunch.

Problems that i endured have produced blood, sweat and tears
all of which has gushed and flowed across me
filling the time-made canals which deepens with each episode of live
i don't think they have ever been completely dried up.

my body bears witness
of all the wrong decisions i've made
of all the right ones that seemed wrong at first, but proved right in the end
evidence of my stupidity, my wisdom, and my stupidity to ignore my wisdom

it might have been nice to have a pristine surface
but somehow my cover just can't betray my insides
i am what i was born with,
what my mistakes are,
what i've learned,
what i've been through,
what i choose to be.

had i learned different things,
had i chose different choices,
i might have a different outlook.

but it wouldn't have been me.

email itu

pada tanggal 27 Mei lalu saya diwawancara untuk menjadi AE di sebuah grup media.

saya menginginkan posisi itu
saya ingin sekali bergabung dengan grup media itu
saya..
saya..
saya..

intinya i really wanted that job. and i had high hopes.

dan selama 2 minggu terakhir saya berharap, berdoa, dan berdeg-degan ria.

akhirnya tibalah email itu.

saya dinyatakan lulus sebagai cadangan.

it's as good as a no. meski masih ada harapan, tapi sejujurnya saya dikecewakan lagi.

saya dikecewakan oleh diri saya sendiri, dan saya hanya memiliki  sebotol teh hijau dengan tutup botol bertuliskan "COBA LAGI" untuk menghibur saya.

i really wanted that job, i'm kinda hurt, and i don't have much to comfort me.
it's not much, but it has to be enough..

my daily source of motivation

sebagai manusia tanpa kekasih yang semua temannya sudah terlalu sibuk dengan urusan masing-masing untuk dijadikan motivator saya harus mencari sumber-sumber motivasi mandiri.

meski saya bisa memberikan diri saya sendiri "terlalu" banyak harapan (see previous blog), kadang saya juga perlu motivasi external.


ayo tebak saya dapatnya dari mana????

clue:
warnanya hijau
harga sekitar 3000-3500
ada rasa madu dan original.

apakah dia?

saya mendapatkan motivasi saya dari sebuah minuman green tea (teh hijau) yang sedang mengadakan promosi di balik tutup botolnya. seharusnya seandainya saya beruntung saya  bisa mendapatkan  hingga 100 juta rupiah.  tapi sejujurnya tiap hari saya membeli sebotol minuman itu untuk mendapatkan pesan2  "anda kurang beruntung"nya. untungnya mereka memberikan pesan-pesan yang lebih motivative  seperti, "coba lagi", "tetap semangat!", "tetap cool", dll.

some people may think that it's sad or weird. but i think it's quite effective to give my mood a mid-day boost.

Addicted to hope.

saya adalah seorang pemimpi, pengharap, chronic day dreamer in morning, noon at night.
Apabila saya menginginkan sesuatu maka saya akan berharap.
dan membiarkan  harapan itu melambung tinggi, tinggi sekali.

dan lalu kenyataan akhirnya tiba. dan memukul  saya kembali  ke bumi.

the problem with great expectations is that no matter how good the outcome is, you'll still be disappointed cause you expected more. it's like coming to a new restaurant that everyone has given a great review, but then feeling disappointed after tasting the food, which is actually quite good, but you had imagined it as something better.

yes, great expectation will hurt me, i've learned that. but somehow i just can't seem to stop hoping and imagining.


 

what i'm made of

The skin i've donned since birth has provided me with protection and a base for my identity.
this mouth, this nose
this pair of eyes that hardly close
my fingers and my toes
some becoming crooked by my own actions
the stubborn wavy hair on my head
coffe coloured skin
the eyebrows that i took great pride of for no apparent reason

The dimple in my cheek only appears when i smile but it gets deeper with each smile i cast.
I've learned to smile when i want to,
when i don't want to,
when i had to,
and not to smile when i want to but i'm not supposed to.

The surface is covered with scratches and scars from countless escapades,
from justified and unjustified fights
from sticks and stones that have been hurled towards me,
the balls that richoched from my foot and ending up in my face,
scars that would not have stayed on had it not been for my ignorance

the lines in my face bear markings,
from each time i frown in deep thought,
be it from contemplating the troubles of my own,
the burdens of others which i really want to lift,
methods of setting the worlds to right,
or maybe i was just making up my mind about what to have for lunch.

Problems that i endured have produced blood, sweat and tears
all of which has gushed and flowed across me
filling the time-made canals which deepens with each episode of live
i don't think they have ever been completely dried up.

my body bears witness
of all the wrong decisions i've made
of all the right ones that seemed wrong at first, but proved right in the end
evidence of my stupidity, my wisdom, and my stupidity to ignore my wisdom

it might have been nice to have a pristine surface
but somehow my cover just can't betray my insides
i am what i was born with,
what my mistakes are,
what i've learned,
what i've been through,
what i choose to be.

had i learned different things,
had i chose different choices,
i might have a different outlook.

but it wouldn't have been me.

email itu

pada tanggal 27 Mei lalu saya diwawancara untuk menjadi AE di sebuah grup media.

saya menginginkan posisi itu
saya ingin sekali bergabung dengan grup media itu
saya..
saya..
saya..

intinya i really wanted that job. and i had high hopes.

dan selama 2 minggu terakhir saya berharap, berdoa, dan berdeg-degan ria.

akhirnya tibalah email itu.

saya dinyatakan lulus sebagai cadangan.

it's as good as a no. meski masih ada harapan, tapi sejujurnya saya dikecewakan lagi.

saya dikecewakan oleh diri saya sendiri, dan saya hanya memiliki sebotol teh hijau dengan tutup botol bertuliskan "COBA LAGI" untuk menghibur saya.

i really wanted that job, i'm kinda hurt, and i don't have much to comfort me.
it's not much, but it has to be enough..

my daily source of motivation

sebagai manusia tanpa kekasih yang semua temannya sudah terlalu sibuk dengan urusan masing-masing untuk dijadikan motivator saya harus mencari sumber-sumber motivasi mandiri.

meski saya bisa memberikan diri saya sendiri "terlalu" banyak harapan (see previous blog), kadang saya juga perlu motivasi external.


ayo tebak saya dapatnya dari mana????

clue:
warnanya hijau
harga sekitar 3000-3500
ada rasa madu dan original.

apakah dia?

saya mendapatkan motivasi saya dari sebuah minuman green tea (teh hijau) yang sedang mengadakan promosi di balik tutup botolnya. seharusnya seandainya saya beruntung saya bisa mendapatkan hingga 100 juta rupiah. tapi sejujurnya tiap hari saya membeli sebotol minuman itu untuk mendapatkan pesan2 "anda kurang beruntung"nya. untungnya mereka memberikan pesan-pesan yang lebih motivative seperti, "coba lagi", "tetap semangat!", "tetap cool", dll.

some people may think that it's sad or weird. but i think it's quite effective to give my mood a mid-day boost.

Addicted to hope.

saya adalah seorang pemimpi, pengharap, chronic day dreamer in morning, noon at night.
Apabila saya menginginkan sesuatu maka saya akan berharap.
dan membiarkan harapan itu melambung tinggi, tinggi sekali.

dan lalu kenyataan akhirnya tiba. dan memukul saya kembali ke bumi.

the problem with great expectations is that no matter how good the outcome is, you'll still be disappointed cause you expected more. it's like coming to a new restaurant that everyone has given a great review, but then feeling disappointed after tasting the food, which is actually quite good, but you had imagined it as something better.

yes, great expectation will hurt me, i've learned that. but somehow i just can't seem to stop hoping and imagining.

hari pertama menjadi orang tanpa pekerjaan tetap

pagi-pagi bangun dengan rasa sesal, untuk apa bangun pagi2? not like i have to go to work.
lalu telentang di dalam tempat tidur saya mulai menyusun hari..
hari ini mo ngapain ya?
i actually hate long weekends and holidays.
so you should imagine my frustation with having to have a series of "holidays" for an undetermined period

akhirnya hari ini tour de banks.
 stelah jam 4 habis lah sudah kerjaan saya. sekarang bingung de mo ngapain..
mencoba menahan diri untuk tidak melakukan pembelian impulsif.

besok mo job fair dan survey harga...
rabunya kayanya mo ngapalin jalan ke pluit, ancol, dll
kamis.. jumat.. ga tau mo ngapain.
sabtu latyan, abis itu rapat.

damn.. i hate this.
how many more days of not-much-to-do do i have to endure?

hari pertama menjadi orang tanpa pekerjaan tetap

pagi-pagi bangun dengan rasa sesal, untuk apa bangun pagi2? not like i have to go to work.
lalu telentang di dalam tempat tidur saya mulai menyusun hari..
hari ini mo ngapain ya?
i actually hate long weekends and holidays.
so you should imagine my frustation with having to have a series of "holidays" for an undetermined period

akhirnya hari ini tour de banks.
stelah jam 4 habis lah sudah kerjaan saya. sekarang bingung de mo ngapain..
mencoba menahan diri untuk tidak melakukan pembelian impulsif.

besok mo job fair dan survey harga...
rabunya kayanya mo ngapalin jalan ke pluit, ancol, dll
kamis.. jumat.. ga tau mo ngapain.
sabtu latyan, abis itu rapat.

damn.. i hate this.
how many more days of not-much-to-do do i have to endure?